In a case that shocked investigators, Kendra Gail Licari, a mother and high school basketball coach, was sentenced in 2023 for orchestrating a cruel cyberbullying campaign against her own daughter. While many cases of online harassment involve classmates or anonymous strangers, this one  is a more unsettling truth. This time, the source of psychological harm is much closer to home.

It started in early 2021. Licari’s daughter, a student at Beal City Schools, began receiving a barrage of hostile messages. These weren’t ordinary teenage jokes or typical teasing. They were deeply personal, eerily specific, and devastating in tone. Threats, taunts, and even suggestions that she should take her own life.

Up to a dozen messages per day flooded through Instagram, Snapchat, and anonymous texting apps. The harassment extended to the girl’s boyfriend as well, causing tons of confusion and distress. Concerned, the family turned to the school for help. Unbeknownst to everyone involved, including the investigators and the school, the person sending those messages was sitting at the same dinner table as the victim.

By late 2021, when the abuse showed no signs of stopping, the FBI’s cybercrime division was brought in. Local law enforcement had struggled due to the messages originating off-campus and through encrypted apps. But federal investigators had stronger tools. What they uncovered was shocking. The messages traced back to Licari’s IP address. She had used VPNs and created fake accounts to avoid detection. When confronted, she confessed. Admitting she “got caught up” in the harassment and couldn’t stop. (I cannot fathom getting ‘caught up’ in bullying your daughter..)

Over 349 pages of harassing messages were attributed to her.

What would drive a mother to torment her own child in this way? Prosecutors and experts pointed to a phenomenon loosely related to ‘Munchausen-by-proxy’ a psychological disorder in which a caregiver creates or exaggerates illness or distress in someone else, typically a child, to gain attention or exert control. In Licari’s case, experts called it “cyber-Munchausen” , a digital-age twist. By causing an emotional crisis from behind a screen, she fostered dependence and inserted herself into her daughter’s emotional life under the guise of concern.

Some theorized jealousy or resentment of her daughter’s growing independence may have played a role. Others saw the calculated emotional sabotage as a form of control, or even narcissistic manipulation. (I believe this completely) No public diagnosis was ever released, but during court proceedings, the defense requested psychiatric credit for inpatient mental health treatment, indicating psychological evaluations were indeed part of the case.

In March 2023, Licari pleaded guilty to two felony counts of stalking a minor. Additional charges including obstruction of justice and using a computer to commit a crime were dropped in a plea deal. Prosecutors emphasized the ‘technical sophistication’ of the scheme, the sustained psychological damage, and the huge violation of trust.

In April 2023, she was sentenced to 19 months to 5 years in prison, with credit for 22 days already served. Her defense sought lighter treatment, but the court firmly upheld the severity of her actions. This was truly emotional abuse and that is a crime that is frequently overlooked. 

A subsequent appeal was denied in December 2023 by the Michigan Court of Appeals, affirming that she would serve her sentence.

In 2024, Lifetime aired a dramatization of the case titled “Mommy Meanest” bringing renewed attention to the story, but a movie could not fully capture the betrayal felt by a young girl who discovered her worst tormentor was her mother. The Kendra Licari case sits at the intersection of digital forensics, psychology, and criminal law. It’s a rare but powerful example of emotional abuse carried out with surgical precision using modern tools.

It also shows how technology, for all its promise, can be twisted into a weapon of manipulation and how even the people we trust most can hide behind a screen.

Have thoughts on digital safety or emotional abuse? Reach out or share your story. Resources for victims of online harassment are available at stopbullying.gov and cyberbullying.org.